


What Line Would it Cross?

by ceceliatarleton



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Axel is a dad friend, Blow Jobs, Getting Together, M/M, Mickey Mouse is a good dad, Post-Canon, Sharing a Bed, Shower Sex, Sickfic, and those instincts bite him, considering they jump into a shower 2.5 seconds after getting together, first chapter is just talking but we got a second chapter now, more introspection and unnecessary angsting than sick fic, no beta we die like women, now Roxas gets to bite him instead of instincts, or kind of since it is an unspecified few years post KH3 so all are over eighteen, post kh3, still a lot of talking, strong background Axel & Xion & Roxas friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:55:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23626504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceceliatarleton/pseuds/ceceliatarleton
Summary: Axel wants to make sure the sick Roxas has everything he needs or wants. Roxas needs cuddles and wants him. Axel is afraid to say what he wants and feels like he needs to do the thinking of consequences for both of them.
Relationships: Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 53





	1. Not a Single One

“Need anything else?” Axel asked, voice as soft as his eyes when he looked at Roxas curled on the bed, covers pushed to the foot of the bed and tangled around his feet despite Axel having just tucked him in securely before walking to the bedroom doorway, and wearing dark blue pajama bottoms with a pink drawstring and pink llamas dotted over them the blonde had insisted were the only thing he could stand to wear that didn’t make his skin itch, dodging the question Axel had asked and refusing to answer whether they were Xion’s or not. Roxas had been coaxed into covering his upper body with one of Axel’s shirts after much wheedling from the redhead that it was big even on him, very soft, and Roxas would get cold later sleeping under a fan if he didn’t put on a shirt and kept throwing off his blankets.

Roxas let out a long, pitiful noise that had Axel biting back a grin. If he didn’t know better, hadn’t heard several wordless nonsense whines of frustration from Roxas today every time the younger man had a revelation that he was still ill and not magically recovered since an hour ago, it would have sounded like a drawn out cry of Leeeeeea, but Roxas had never called him that even when he had been going by the name, which he hadn’t in some time again. The redhead had embraced the name Axel fully once more. Roxas, Xion, and Kairi all calling him Axel, and him welcoming the name from them, made it difficult to correct or train anyone differently, and he’d soon stopped wanting to, leaving Lea as a name only Isa used, which he’d found more and more fitting the longer it settled.

“My throooat still huuurts,” Roxas moaned, confirming Axel’s suspicions that it was bitch o’clock again.

“Then you should rest it instead of complaining,” Axel pointed out, hand on hip and eyebrow raised, or at least attempted to be raised--Roxas told him he failed about half the time and just went bug eyed and looked more like a loser for trying to play cool, because Rox was supportive that way. “And I’m not hearing an answer to the question. You have a box of tissues on the nightstand. I cleaned the humidifier and I have it turned on. I set an alarm for when we can give you more cold medicine. I’ll pick up a thermometer from the store while you’re napping so we can monitor that fever. I got ahold of Xion and she is going to bring home soup made special by Little Chef tonight. Is there anything else you need?” He ticked items off on his fingers and tried to sound weary and exasperated at all he’d done for his friend instead of worried. Fretting wasn’t his brand when he could help it, these days at least when he had all the important people to his life back.

It was difficult to play nonchalant though after he’d rushed back to Twilight Town, turning his gummi ship around halfway to the Land of Dragons when he’d gotten a call from a miserable, phlegmy Roxas and then spent an hour fussing over him before confirming that signs pointed to a cold and a hospital or a call to Even probably wasn’t needed. To be fair though, Roxas had appeared on his gummiphone screen with red rimmed eyes that had seemed more tears than irritation at the time and sounded scared telling Axel that, “my body is failing.”

Axel’s heart had broken and dropped to the floor of the ship, and one day he’d get Roxas back for scaring him that way. He just didn’t have the heart to that day with Roxas so vulnerable and the gratefulness in discovering nothing serious was wrong after all making him lightheaded with relief, making it hard to get or stay mad especially when Roxas somehow made even the sheen of cold sweat on the forehead and lying on the floor in a nest of tissues like a rodent look turn endearing--though not so endearing that taking a damp washcloth to Roxas’s head and then cleaning the trash off the floor hadn’t been Axel’s first two acts.

“Stay with me,” Roxas’s voice was barely there, rough and strained as if the words took all the effort he had left in him to say, where just a second before it had been gravelier than usual, a near Vanitas impression, but still strong and further cleared out of congestion by his groaning.

“Okay,” Axel replied, not even pretending a moment of hesitation, stepping back into the room properly and folding himself to the floor next to the bed in a few fluid motions. Whipped. Utterly, helplessly wrapped around Roxas’s finger was what he was, and only intermittently ashamed to admit it. Roxas groaned again, throwing one arm over his eyes as if despairing and reaching the other one toward Axel, scratching the top of his head lightly and forming a light grip on his hair.

That was all the sound and motion there was from Roxas for what felt like several minutes but was more likely near twenty seconds, enough for Axel to feel comfortable all the same with Roxas’s fingers threading in his hair and to think that he’d sit by Roxas until he drifted off and then slip out, until Roxas worked up to continuing, voice strong again and displaying the annoyed, condescending tone he typically saved for Riku when the silver-haired man tried to pull rank as a keyblade master or give him advice, “In the bed. Get in the bed with me and stay.” He couldn’t keep up the tone. Voice broke and came back soft, though Axel couldn’t see his face from his position to see whether the break was sudden shyness or just oncoming laryngitis. “Hold me. Please. You’re warm and I’m cold now, but I hate my blankets.”

Axel felt every beat of his heart in his ears as time slowed. He was hot all the sudden, flushing like a preteen instead of a grown man at the simple, innocent request. If he refused to believe he was experiencing anything as silly as nervousness at the request that should have been easy to laugh off if he didn’t want to comply, he was left with idly wondering if he was starting with a fever now too.

No reason to be ridiculous. It wasn’t as if it would be the first time they shared a bed. The first week after the keyblade graveyard they had shared a bed in Disney Castle with Xion.

They had each been given their own rooms to begin with, all the guardians of light had. Nobody had seen King Mickey make a call to let anyone in his court know they were coming, but rooms had been prepared for all, fresh clothes on the beds, every set the right size, and trays with steaming hot meals sat on side tables. The night after they defeated the thirteen darknesses was a blur in some parts as was the battle itself, but etched in Lea’s memory indelibly was the king’s soft smile and orders to “rest tonight and we’ll figure everything out in the morning” that came with the unspoken that he’d take on as much of each member of their ragtag group’s respective burdens as he could physically hold and was grateful that he was given the chance. It was the kind of look you wanted to argue against even if you felt you were wearing the same one. Everyone had eaten their dinner picnic style together in the garden without a word of coordination or planning passed between them. It was a silent fellowship and more solemn than any celebration of saving the universe should have been, but in the silence those that had come together out of necessity and hardly exchanged two words that weren’t directions in battle were cemented as one large family, duos, trios, and quartets mixing and solidifying into a whole that swore to remain a fellowship even now that it could have been said their common goal had been accomplished. After dinner, he, Roxas, and Xion had all met in Xion’s room with a similar lack of spoken intent or pre-planning performed or necessary. Xion’s room had the biggest bed after all.

They’d slept in positions that would have looked awkward to any onlooker. Axel on one edge of the bed on his side, body curved slightly toward Xion who was in the middle right hand resting on Xion’s neck and left arm under her head and reaching beyond so his fingers curved against Roxas’s throat where he lay on the other side of her. His whole left side had went numb soon in, but it was a sacrifice well worth it. Xion had slept on her back, a bit diagonally so her head hit Roxas’s chest rather than her pillow and her legs tangled with Axel’s, and her right hand reached up to rest over Axel’s on her neck, not to pry it away or complain about it choking her, but to close her fingers lightly around his wrist and press in under the base of his thumb to feel the pulse. Roxas had her left hand in much the same grip with his other arm thrown across her body reaching toward Axel’s chest (one bit of verbal communication that had happened was a growl for Axel to unbutton the pajama shirt he was wearing or take it off because Roxas couldn’t feel his heartbeat well enough through bunched materiel, an order Axel had obliged and appreciated for what it was meant as while trying not to dwell too much on the tone while Xion was there resting between them).

They’d all woken up stiff and lying on top of each other, and it was a wonder they’d managed to drift off while holding positions but they’d been able to feel each other’s hearts beating all night long which provided enough peace that they had repeated the sleeping arrangements the next few nights until Master Aqua had stumbled on them and reacted with such shock that it had somehow convinced Xion there was something to be embarrassed over in something as innocent as a litter of puppies in a basket and the king himself had seen their arrangement on the first morning and all he had done was express his happiness they’d had a good night's sleep, undoubtedly sincere in every word.

Xion had kicked them out and Roxas had asked Axel if he’d wanted to keep sharing a room, just the two of them, enough hope and trepidation in the big, blue eyes that were responsible for more than a third of the beats of Axel’s heart that the redhead had known instantly that the proposition, as quick as it had come, wasn’t given without thought. On the contrary, a moment of understanding passed between them in locked eyes, a crackling undercurrent that didn’t read scared to sleep alone or not just that at least, but rather that he’d been bothered by Aqua’s reaction too but decided to commit the crime he was judged for. In other phrasing, that there was the kind of thought in the request that Axel had been trying to discourage in himself and repeat a mantra that the consuming love he felt for Roxas was only-- _could only be_ \--the exact same as the consuming love he felt for Xion or Isa, the more than even familial he thought, not having family to compare it to, like his soul and his life respectively began and ended with them but always platonic.

His mouth had dried, and he’d taken too long to answer. Roxas had turned pink and then turned bitter with hardly a heartbeat between the two, turning his head and then his whole body away a second after, dejection tearing off his smile, hardening his eyes, and rounding his shoulders as he retracted the offer. 

Axel had grabbed the blonde’s wrist to stop him from leaving and he’d agreed then. He’d even added a mildly desperate “I want to, please,” that somehow didn’t make up for two seconds of hesitation as Roxas had pulled away and said he needed space on second thought. They were each supposed to be learning to be their own people after all.

  
  


They didn’t hang out that day and Axel slept alone that night. 

In the middle of the night, Axel had decided on the words needed to dispel awkwardness and clear a few things up to get the three of them back to normal. An hour later he had argued to himself that their old normal wasn’t what he wanted and he had decided on other words for Roxas. He changed his mind again before dawn, but neither speech had been needed.

Fate had made the next day the one that saw King Mickey, Yensid, Merlin, and Ansem the Wise having finalized all arrangements for those that needed them and the keybladewielders leaving for different worlds. Axel left for Radiant Garden once he’d extracted Xion’s arms from around his waist and she’d extracted promises from him to call her and Roxas twice a day and to visit soon, and Roxas and Xion had walked hand in hand shoulder to shoulder up the gangplank of a gummiship bound for Twilight Town. 

He’d ended up moving to Twilight Town himself a few months after. Radiant Garden no longer felt like home, if the place where he’d gone from orphan and troublemaker to human experiment to monster had ever felt like home in the first place except for one reason-- a reason Axel had gone back to his homeworld to find recompleted and then tried unsuccessfully to convince to make the move to Twilight Town with him (Isa had refused but his refusal hadn’t come with anger and they’d parted on good terms, the idea that their lives not only didn’t revolve around each other anymore but that they both felt they could live without the other for long periods as long as they knew each other were alright feeling bittersweet). 

Axel even ended up moving in with Roxas and Xion after his first choice of apartment had fallen through, landlord unsympathetic to how hard it was to get and keep a good paying job in Twilight Town when you’d dropped out of school and you couldn’t work consistent hours when you were often called away for world saving--or at least world patrolling. Roxas and Xion both had pretty sweet spots carved out for them at Le Grand Bistro but Axel had run into complications there after offending a certain little chef and the boss duck himself on his first day. He’d been forgiven and given a second chance eventually, but there’d been a series of short-lived and not always profitable gigs in between and even with the hefty tips left for waiters at the Bistro, a three-way split remained wise.

There had been no more bed sharing though (no speeches either, that moment had passed and they were back to normal, comfortable friends, which was what Axel had wanted, he was sure). He’d slept on the couch not one of them had realized was pullout until  Naminé  had informed them on one visit until they’d migrated to the three bedroom further from the bistro but closer to the university all three had vowed to take classes at together when studying for their GEDs.

Well, that wasn’t quite true. There had been a handful of times where different combinations of the three of them had dozed off together, usually on the couch, but a few times in one of the beds, after staying up too long playing video games or studying or talking. Purposeful bedsharing and cuddling beyond an arm thrown over shoulders on the couch or a long hug on a bad day however were something they didn’t do after that week at Disney Castle for all those who witnessed how in sync the trio and especially Roxas and Axel were at all times and how touch oriented they were with everyone not just even each other would have been surprised. 

It just wasn’t something they did. 

“I shouldn’t expose myself to the germs.” It was a weak response given in the present after too long a pause lost in the past. 

A scoff. Roxas’s voice rasped to almost nothing legitimately this time, making the previous times stand out more clearly as nerves. “They’re airborne, dipshit, and you’ve been in the same room as me, touching everything around me, touching me all afternoon. I’m touching you now. You’re exposed already. It was dumb...I shouldn’t have….but if you don’t want to or you think it crosses a line, just say that, Idiot. Don’t… don’t make excuses.”

“What line would it cross?” Axel asked rhetorically after a long pause, still not looking at Roxas, twisting away from his friend’s grip on his hair, but making no other move to get up. Crackling tension. Disney Castle all fucking over again, like summoning the memory had doomed them.

“Not a single fucking one.” Roxas’s disdain and defiance were palpable as always.

  
  


The words “Damn straight,” were already pulling Axel’s mouth into a grin and he was half to his feet, ease settling because the irritated, dismissive, what-are-you scared type challenge was more them and something he knew how to respond to, when a few additional words met his ears and everything froze.

“..Unless you wanted to.”

Unless you wanted to. Said with that familiar hopeful voice. Stars and planets in the sky, had Roxas double dosed himself on cough syrup while he wasn’t looking? Weren’t those words like opening the Door to Darkness? No ignoring it now Quite a thing to say. Quite a thing to have to react to.

Axel flooded with a spike of sudden--rare to be directed at Roxas--resentment. It shouldn’t have to be on him to have the answer for both of them. Icky job always had to go to Axel, didn’t it? A voice in his head questioned why it was an icky job, and the rest of him didn’t have an answer. That’s just how it felt in the moment, not flattering, not thrilling, icky. Maybe he should just say that without bothering with context and kill the mood and line of conversation permanently.

Kill the friendship too, at least for awhile, death in shame and hurt feelings if he wasn’t careful though, so maybe he shouldn’t.

Besides, killing the mood and the topic Roxas had been brave enough to weather, even if it took him what seemed like a lifetime after the first derailment, wasn’t what Axel wanted.

So, what did he want?

What he wanted was what he’d wanted for years, what he’d wanted even before the last time, if he was honest-- which was debatable the best of times and situational, but happened occasionally-- but what Axel wanted wasn’t all that mattered.

What Roxas wanted was more important than what he wanted, that was just a general rule of life. It applied to Taco Tuesday over chicken marsala, to taking patrols in Neverland instead of Halloween Town, to fixing his course schedule to match the blonde’s even though he wasn’t a morning person and Roxas had become one.

Now, Roxas was making it pretty clear what he wanted--probably not right now while he was a giant ball of fevered congestion, but in general-- unless he was teasing, unless Axel was reading things wrong, but that wasn’t quite all that mattered either. Axel had made it his duty to always guide Roxas and Xion to what was best for them as part of being their guide to life. The meaning of best sometimes shifted wildly into creative definition, but Axel was wholly certain that he wasn’t what was best for Roxas in any fashion and anything happening between him and Roxas wasn’t what was best for him, Roxas, and Xion as a friendship. Too much baggage. Too much risk. Too much to go wrong. Too much ready to change even if it went right. Axel was responsible for saying no and handling both Roxas’s bruised ego and his own broken heart . Icky, icky job.

And what exactly was Roxas propositioning anyway? What if it was just another sort of icing on the cake? Axel wasn’t sure he could stand to hear the answer, but maybe he should ask even if he risked an answer that would destroy him. The firebird was going to mate for life and he was stunned that some people didn’t think that of him. Definitely he should ask, even if he was going to reject the notion either way. It was time to do his part in being brave.

“Holy shit, Axel.” Roxas cursing always made his stomach flip, and not always pleasantly. Sunshine corrupted and Axel was probably to blame somewhere along the line. “I was just teasing. Get in the bed.” He punctuated his words by kicking his feet like a tantrum throwing toddler, pushing the pile of covers even further toward falling off the end of the bed.

Just teasing, Right, Axel chided himself for thinking too much. Of course Roxas didn’t want him like that, at least not anymore. 

Relief wasn’t supposed to feel like you’d been hit in the gut with a bag of bricks.

“So bossy,” Axel teased back on autopilot, a flick of a smirk, a purr of a tone, falling back into any easy persona to grab, not questioning any action now that Roxas provided that it wasn’t real. Just teasing. Not a single boundary crossed. “Do it again. You know I live for you taking charge.” He crawled into the bed, keeping to the edge for only a moment before flipping bodily on top of Roxas instead of reaching out to wrap him in a hug or spoon him. Ignoring the live wire current lighting up the entire length of his body where it pressed against the shorter man, he propped his weight up on elbows on either side of Roxas’s chest, pinning him and bumping their foreheads together. “What’s my next order?” His actions were only a bit facetious lashing out under the guise of fun. What could he say? Sometimes he acted without his brain’s permission and against his agreed best interests. There was a reason Isa was his original best friend; they were alike that way.

He went slightly cross-eyed, trying to maintain eye contact. Not so sexy. Not that he should be trying to be sexy. Even cross-eyed Axel could see Roxas had went from fever not quite broken pink to sunset red. Someone in the room could dish it out a crisis but not take a little teasing. The voice in Axel’s head asked which one of them he was talking about.

“Why are you like this? I hate this” Roxas let the words out as a distressed breath then turned his head, closing his eyes tightly and biting his lip, still blushing. He looked like a scared deer, a wildly attractive scared deer, but panicked nonetheless. Maybe Axel was the one who really couldn’t take a turnabout because he jolted with guilt and rolled off Roxas with the same suddenness he’d pinned him, mumbling repeated “sorry”s.

Roxas let out a disgruntled, phlegm-y noise in his throat and mumbled, “Don’t apologize.”

They lay on separate ends of the bed for a minute, stiffly on their backs, a gulf in between them, both looking at the ceiling like it held answers instead of at each other. Cozy. Axel started to laugh in spite of himself and once he started, it only grew heartier, “We’re a damn mess. When did we get this awkward?”

Roxas visibly relaxed and let out a few giggles of his own. “Dunno. It’s lame though. I’m sick for the first time in my life and on four kinds of drugs. What’s your excuse?”

Axel rolled on his side, turned toward Roxas. “C’mere, sick-y,”he beckoned. Roxas scooted closer and Axel folded his arms around him, tucking him against his chest, and propped his chin on the younger man’s hair. It felt like home. Warmth in his chest rather than electricity in the bones. It was always one or the other being around Roxas. Home was clammy and smelled like menthol rub (another step in Axel’s previous attempt to throw everything at Roxas’s sickness he could) but whose home was perfect? “There. Now sleep.”

“Good. Warm,” Roxas sighed happily, snuggling against him, voice turning instantly vague and then a yawn following as if the medicine was finally hitting him. It was one of his top ten cutest moments ever. Axel would have to journal it later, if he could find his journal, to have it memorized.

Several beats passed. Axel could have started to fall asleep himself if his heartbeat would settle instead of continuing to jackhammer even while his brain tried to send the message it was mellow time and everything was sorted out now.

“Axel?”

Axel held his breath a moment before answering, preemptively cursing whatever would upset the balance now. “Yes?”

“Hand me a tissue?” Roxas asked balefully,

Axel let out a short, silent laugh at the pathetic tone used. “Sure.” He rolled away to grab a kleenex from the box on the nightstand then rolled back to pull Roxas against him again and reach around to put the kleenex up to his face. “Blow.”

“Gross.”

“Just do it.”

“Fine,”Roxas sighed as if it were an imposition. “But you better get up, throw it away, and wash your snot hands before you put them on my body.”

“What do you take me for? And you better not get snot on my hands. Aim for the tissue, Angel.” The pet name slipped out without Axel willing it. Roxas did look like an angel, and he had raised Axel from damnation. That wasn’t a name that was supposed to be tossed out unless it was sarcastic though, and rarely even then. Certainly not while they were alone in bed. Shoot. Too late now. Axel couldn’t even be bothered to have another crisis over it.

Angel didn’t comment, just blew into the tissue. Cool. Axel was all for ignoring that slip up. He twisted away for the second time to get up, dispose of the used tissue and pad off to the bathroom down the hall to wash his hands.

“Thanks... Baby, for taking care of me.” Roxas didn’t sound like he was mocking him. He sounded sincere--and also like he might need to blow his nose again because baby sounded like buby.

“Shut up,” Axel demanded without venom and with an involuntary smile. “What are friends for?”

“You tell me. What am I allowed to use you for?” 

Axel had a problem with his brain short circuiting and threatening to restart down dangerous paths again, so he pretended he hadn’t heard Roxas babbling at him as he walked out of the room. Maybe if he took long enough washing his hands, Roxas would be asleep when he returned.

His luck wasn’t quite that good, but Roxas was quiet and passive when he came back, well on his way to unconsciousness. He was awake enough to wave Axel vaguely back toward the bed when he heard the door creak with a glare that said not to even think about leaving for the store, but hardly able to keep his eyes open and focused long enough to deliver even that. 

Axel crawled back in the bed and enveloped Roxas again, pressing his cheek to Roxas’s forehead to check his temperature since he wasn’t allowed to escape and buy the thermometer (the only thing he was missing when he’d thought of everything down to a damn humidifier in his emergency caretaker kit). It seemed like the fever had broken at last. Good. 

“Love you.” It was so soft Axel could have missed it.

“Love you too, Rox.” His chest constricted.

“Enough?”

That response was hard to parse, so Axel didn’t risk a headache by trying; he just replied with his heart. “I can only hope that it’s enough. It’s with all I am.”

He guessed it was honesty hour. Nerves flared again, but tempered themselves. Roxas wouldn’t remember how raw and serious he sounded now when he woke up, not with all the medicine in his system. 

“No, I meant….” but Roxas trailed off then changed the subject instead of replying, squirming to turn around in Axel’s arms so they were face to chest. “Shhh”

“I’m not the one yapping when he should be sleeping,” Axel said, amused, even though he was talking just as much. Flickers of electricity were dancing across his skin again, though he tried to just hold onto warm-safe-home as he finger combed through Roxas’s matted hair and held him tight. 

Roxas squirmed again, though he really shouldn’t, inching up Axel’s body so his mouth was level with Axel’s neck. “Shh,”he ordered again and then pressed his lips to Axel’s pulse point. The kiss was brief and closed mouth but Axel felt himself tense and his heart pound even harder. “Shh, Axel’s heart. Don’t be scared. It’s alright.” The press of lips came again and lingered. Axel didn’t know what to do. His soul left his body and hovered, judging him. “It’s alright.” Roxas’s breath was warm against Axel’s skin and a third kiss came, wet this time, an exploratory suck without finesse and then a nip of teeth followed by a flick of tongue.

Axel’s conscience nudged him, soul deciding to stay on the scene after all. Stupid killjoy Lea. “That’s enough.” He pushed Roxas away, only to be faced with the most betrayed sapphire eyes seen since he’d suggested Roxas give up ice cream until he got an A on an anthropology exam as a motivator. “You aren’t thinking clearly. You’re loopy from cold medicine. That’s why you’re... _like this_ today” He didn’t remember deciding to move, but he was suddenly sitting on the edge of the bed, back turned to Roxas.

One, two, three, fifteen seconds passed without a response. Axel didn’t turn around. His shoulders slumped. 

“You’re such an idiot.” The words were measured, sharp knife strikes.

“True.” Axel was nothing if not resilient even when torturing himself so there was a smirk in his voice like instinct taking over.

“I was talking to myself, but you too. Idiot.” Roxas sounded much the same.

“Admitted.”

“Martyr!” This was said with even more gusto, a shout that caused a hoarse crack in Roxas’s come and go voice.

“...Maybe.” Axel wanted to deny it, but damn it if he didn’t have to admit Roxas was right if he replayed even the past ten minutes in his mind.

“I’m not going to keep hitting on you if you’re not into it.” Roxas stopped sounding mad in the slightest all at once. Weight on the bed shifted and the direction of Roxas’s voice changed slightly. If Axel had to guess, Roxas was kneeling behind him. “I can worry about consent too.”

A long silence. They had gone in a circle again.

Axel couldn’t avoid answering forever. 

The redhead felt lips on his back through his t-shirt. Electric sparks. Arms wrapped around him from behind, warm and safe. “Don’t be scared.” Roxas’s voice whispered. “Either way. Just tell me. I think I know the answer, but I need to hear it.”

“We _shouldn’t_ …” It still took a lot of courage to say, and Roxas wouldn’t even let him finish.

“But do you want to?” A head leaned on Axel’s shoulder.

Axel sagged against Roxas, dramatically boneless. “Why do you have to ask me that? All I ever asked was to be able to take care of you and see you happy forever.” Roxas squawked as they both fell backward, Axel pinning him to the bed once again, but changing the mood completely, taking as much intimacy and tension out of the moment as he could in a wrecking ball motion of pouting flop back and squish.

Roxas’s reply was muffled, which was a shame because Axel, even in his infantile continued avoidance wanted to hear it. Roxas hit the lanky redhead repeatedly in the shoulders and sides until he relented and rolled away. Roxas continued to gasp for breath melodramatically for awhile. As far apart as they could get, both looking at the ceiling, hadn’t they been here before? 

“Sex is going to be weird if you can’t stay serious for two minutes.” Roxas griped.

Axel turned his head toward Roxas and grinned. Mood whiplash time. Fall back into ten years of easy to act like you’re always okay time. “No, sex is going to be tender and then the weird comes later.” 

“We could never be weird around each other. We’ll just be weird together.” Roxas smiled softly in that way that cut to the heart he was responsible for putting in Axel’s chest.

“I meant ropes and candle wax….but I suppose you’re right.” Axel took a deep breath that rattled his ribcage and took the plunge. They were in too deep to avoid the topic again, gone too far to avoid fallout if he gave a bad answer, and he’d said too much to lie, so the only option left was truth and hope it didn’t ruin everything. He’d ruined their friendship before. It could survive it. “So yeah, I’ll say it seriously. I want you. I’ve wanted you for a long time. But I want everything with you. Not just physical.”

“Heart and soul, you already own that, and I know I have yours. Body is literally the only thing left.” Roxas was too quick to answer, but Axel wasn’t going to insult him by telling him to think things over like he hadn’t already.

“But it’s not just that. Xion has your heart too. Isa has my heart….I...”

“That’s different. I shouldn’t have to explain that to you,” Roxas huffed the interruption.

Axel smoothed Roxas’s hair away from his eyes. “You don’t. I’m just making sure it’s the same for both of us.”

“Speaking of making sure….Now that we are both sure we want this…” Roxas trailed off significantly. "I''m just saying that you can order me to blow again and make it sexy this time."

“Take your fucking nap.” Axel pushed Roxas’s chest and laughed, blushing, feeling freer than he ever had with the familiar actions. “You were literally falling asleep on me five minutes ago, and I don’t want you to fall asleep on me. We got tonight, tomorrow, and the rest of our lives.”

“Rest of our lives, huh? Moving pret-ty fast there,” Roxas’s smile was luminescent.

“Shut up, Angel.”

“Only if you stay in bed with me and hold me.”

“Deal.”


	2. Every Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two in which a brand new relationship is set to warp speed and there is the inappropriate for child's eyes activity that was originally part of the request--and I forget for large swaths that Roxas is sick and so do the characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I set to surprise Shaky and to live up to creating Axel/Roxas content since seasaltandlfurryflames followed me on tumblr. The only one I surprise is myself at how long this got

Roxas hummed contentedly as he shifted closer to the warmth pressed against his back, eyes still closed, happy murmur the only sign he had returned to wakefulness. In response, Axel laughed, kissed the top of his head, and pulled him more tightly against his chest. Roxas continued the largely nonverbal conversation by threading his fingers through those of one of the hands pressed to his stomach and letting out a satisfied sigh that was more like a purr.

Axel was really there in bed with him, holding him, and, if his wake up greeting was any indication, the conversation Roxas had been half sure he’d dreamed in a fit of wishing and cold medicine had actually happened.

_ Victory.  _

“Morning.” Roxas made an attempt, though not much of one, not to sound smug as he let Axel’s hand go in favor of twisting in his arms and turning so they were face to face. Stars in the sky, Axel had beautiful eyes.

The other man just shifted closer, closing the small space created when Roxas flipped his position, and scooting down a bit so he could rest his forehead against Roxas’s.“Good evening,” Axel corrected.

“Same difference," Roxas whined. "Good after-sleep.” He was sure Axel would have a sarcastic response, so he cut it off before it could form by pushing his luck and pressing his lips to the redhead’s lightly. He didn’t get much of a response, catching Axel off guard as he had and only going for a quick peck. He could only hope Axel wasn’t going to freeze up again. After a brief moment of still and silence that had Roxas already jumping to conclusions, Axel stilled the negative thoughts, trailing fingers down Roxas’s side so his hand was resting on his hip and initiating a slow, exploratory kiss that flipped the roles so Roxas was caught not responding at first.

“Figures I’d have to teach you this too,” Axel teased, whispering against Roxas’s lips in a brief interruption that marked the boundary between one kiss and the next. Roxas would have have told him to shut up if Axel hadn’t immediately taken advantage of him parting his lips.

Roxas wound his fingers in Axel’s hair, earning an approving groan that repeated when he tightened his grip as he interpreted the initial response. Axel’s grip on his hip tightened for a moment too and then slacked in favor of lazy circles drawn and hipbone traced back and forth by Axel’s long fingers as the redhead turned their kissing leisurely once more and then backed off entirely, or almost entirely, seeming to regret the separation even as he strived for it, returning for a series of quick presses that worked further off center toward the corner of Roxas’s mouth and then along his jawline to the neck.

“I should ask how you’re feeling.”

Roxas tilted his head back and pulled Axel’s hair again in encouragement. “Pretty damn good, but I could be better if you didn’t waste time with questions.”

“Rude.” Axel nipped the skin just under Roxas’s ear lightly and chuckled when he gasped. “Responsive,” he hummed approvingly. 

Roxas felt he should have had a retort to that, but when Axel decided to turn the previously pretty chaste trail of kisses to another bite and then mouthing over his adam’s apple Roxas couldn’t think of a thing to say. He’d blame the cough syrup. 

“I can’t believe…” Axel started murmuring as he continued his journey down toward Roxas’s collarbones while his hand swept up under Roxas’s sleep shirt--the shirt he’d lent him, he remembered vaguely, though that morning seemed a lifetime ago now with how the day had shifted.

Axel sounded marveling not self-conscious, but Roxas still felt the need to cut him off, pulling him back up and reconnecting their mouths. He’d spent enough of his life not kissing Axel, and now that he’d remedied that, he was impatient to get back to it.

Legs tangled and soft sighs and moans were the only exchange for several minutes. The borrowed shirt was lifted off and discarded at some point and so it seemed only fair that the shirt Axel was wearing followed, and Roxas found that his next favorite thing to kissing Axel--and to Axel’s stunned expression when he found himself flipped on his back suddenly with Roxas straddling him and trying to undress him--was the feel of Axel’s ab muscles contracting under his hands as he traced them.

“You should get a shower at some point before Xion comes home with the soup.”

Why did Axel keep trying to talk when there were better things to do? And why was he trying to advocate something that would require getting out of the bed and being apart?

“Axel.” Roxas couldn’t think of anything to add to the disproving look and sigh of his friend’s (Boyfriend’s? That hadn’t come up in the talk but that had to be implied to be part of the “everything” Axel wanted, right?) name so he left the rebuke there, and bent his head to kiss Axel again.

Axel turned his head and dodged him. “Stop pouting and listen. Your regular breathing still sounds like a death rattle and while anything you do is dead sexy, Angel, I think the steam would help you.”

“Not interested,” Roxas trailed kisses down the side of Axel’s neck and to his chest instead. If he couldn’t get his mouth on Axel’s, he’d add knowing what Axel’s sweat tasted like and and a compare and contrast of the feel of muscles contracting under his tongue versus his hands to the favorite things.

_ Victory part two...or three...or maybe ten at this point. _

“Ah, but there are... advantages beyond the steam, not just for health but for your..ah... happiness.” Axel switched from sarcastic to smug.

“I’m planning on working this to my advantage,” Roxas slithered down the bed a bit for a better position to continue his task of distraction, punctuating his words with kisses that started at Axel’s heart then started to count down his ribs. 

Axel shoved at Roxas’s shoulders and there was a thump of him throwing his head back and hitting the headboard. “Stop. I was about to use that bargaining chip myself. You’re stealing.”

“Hmm?” Roxas hummed his confusion, not even looking up. 

“If you agree to take a long shower, I can give you head in it,” Axel made the offer plain.

Roxas froze, almost comical in his immediate, rigid halt that extended even to the sound of his congested, whistling breathing stopping for several beats. Blood couldn’t decide whether it wanted to rush to his face and ears or whether the demand was greater in lower areas. A strangled sound that was perhaps unrecognizable as the words “Come again?” finally made its way out of his throat.

Axel’s descent into panic was not as outwardly obvious as Roxas’s physical embodiment of a scratching record, though as soon as it became obvious that Roxas’s intentions had not been where Axel’s mind had jumped despite the trajectory of his exploration has started down and that he’d flustered the younger man completely, he could feel anxiety choking him. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! He was moving way too fast. They’d already been moving way too fast before he’d mentioned showering together and blow jobs. What was wrong with him? Really, truly, Axel demanded an answer from himself.  _ What the hell is wrong with you?  _ Roxas remained so innocent even after all these years he might not even  _ know _ what came after kissing except in broad strokes picked up in conversations over the years despite the way he sometimes teased. He’d never dated anyone after all and unless he’d sat through some horrifically awkward talk with Even about his replica body after he got it or had been picking stuff up on the streets sometime when Axel wasn’t with him which hardly happened, there had been no real education on that topic. 

Roxas wasn’t like a normal eighteen year old, Axel reminded himself--consequentially furthering his shame spiral as more implications sunk in by the moment on the topic of Roxas being a few months shy of nineteen in body and only having lived for a little over four years in his two lifetimes combined. And Axel was right back to thinking he should have nothing to do with Roxas physically or romantically even though his time as a Nobody had been so far from a normal life, blurred in large parts for years before Roxas showed up and his heart beat again, journey of him growing from boy to tool not boy to man, until most times he felt like the years that he would have on Roxas didn’t really exist and they’d finished growing up together. 

Axel thought in circles until he wasn’t sure what was justification and what was real. 

It was a sign of his horror at himself that he let the perfectly good joke Roxas had walked into with saying come again ( _ cum at least twice if we stay until the hot water runs out) _ go unsaid. 

“I didn’t mean that…” The unconvincing words trailed off. “Way too fast. I’d never…” Axel stared at the ceiling and willed death upon himself. It was what he deserved. 

“Never?” With one word, whined like he’d just learned the ice cream shop was out of sea salt for the day, Roxas broke the worst of the tension. Axel’s relieved huff of breath (though he wasn’t through castigating himself completely, he at least knew he hadn’t scared Roxas off) coincided with an audible deep breath of Roxas’s as the blond caught up on oxygen and steeled his nerves. Both men chuckled in amusement at the unison, causing a double jinx neither gave voice to. Roxas crawled back up Axel’s body so they were eye to eye. “I was just surprised is all. You were Mr. Propriety earlier.” 

Axel settled his hands on Roxas’s hips again, but the deep furrow between his eyes and the firm set of his lips (already settling down from kiss swollen, Roxas would have to remedy that) still portrayed a troubled soul. His bitter, self-deprecating response sealed the impression. “Oh yeah, picture of propriety.” 

Roxas placed hands on both of Axel’s cheeks and did nothing but frown at him for a second. Axel blinked back, unamused and unreassured by the childish response. Roxas kissed between the redhead’s brows. “Don’t you dare retreat on me.”

“I don’t know, Rox,” Axel sounded tortured, continuing the quick spiral of what had seemed like a daydream a few minutes ago into a nightmare.

“No,” Roxas cut him off firmly. “We did that already. I know. You know.”

“Not that,” Axel sighed and searched for the words to say. Roxas shivered when Axel stroked his fingertips down over his hip, down the side of his leg, and back up. Feeling the tremor and seeing the glimmer of resparked, naked  _ want _ in Roxas’s eyes caused Axel’s breath to catch for a second, very nearly derailing him completely. “It’s just...we should probably go slow..slow _er_?” 

Stupid  _ and _ weak apparently. His resolve was crumpling like paper.

“If you’re asking, I vote no,” Roxas huffed, leaning forward to press his lips against Axel’s just briefly, making sure that at least was still allowed, and then drawing back slightly to frown at him again. “I’d literally die.”

“Literally?” A smile fought its way onto Axel’s face which was what Roxas had been going for.

“Literally,” Roxas confirmed, going for a kiss that lingered a second, testing the waters.

“Well. I don’t want you to  _ die _ ,” Axel reasoned dryly and Roxas felt the rumble of amusement where their chests pressed together as he heard Axel’s equally dry chuckle.

Roxas brushed a lock of hair off Axel’s face, and left his hand there, tracing the contours of his face slowly and reverently like a blind man trying to memorize him while he looked into his eyes with the same wonder distracted for a second by being struck by and marveling at his luck and what he learned today, that, even with all Axel’s martyred moaning and hesitation, the man beneath him felt the same way he did.

_ I’d die for you.  _ Roxas thought it but didn’t say it, not wanting to turn the mood more somber again when they were just escaping serious talk, and not wanting to think about how Axel had actually died for him once--for Sora, but because he was part of him.

“You also vowed you’d never break a promise to me,” Roxas tapped Axel’s temple. “You should have memorized that.”

Axel blinked in confusion, drawing in a long, sharp breath that made his chest swell like an indignant pufferfish. “I do remember that. I’d never…”

“Shut up. I’m trying to be cute,” Roxas interrupted his boyfriend (Yeah, they were going to be boyfriends. He’d get around to making sure Axel knew about the label in a moment. He wasn’t allowed to disagree now.), and then interrupted himself with another quick peck to Axel’s lips before continuing. “I think there was a verbal contact about the shower. You can’t just take it back.”

“Roxas,” Axel sighed and the furrow was back.

“ _Literally die._ ”

“Roxas”

“You brought it up. You can’t just  _ say _ things like that,” Roxas groaned and collapsed his full weight unto his boyfriend, burying his face in his neck. Axel patted the back of Roxas’s shoulder sympathetically (unless the sympathy was sarcastic, Roxas sometimes couldn’t tell when Axel’s mood whiplashed) then wrapped his arms fully around Roxas in a loose hug and locked his fingers , resting hands lightly on his mid back.

Axel shifted, trying to crane to look down at Roxas and coax the blond to look back at him as he planned words he thought there should be eye contact during. “Are you sure? I mean absolutely sure? Because you went on a complete system shut down when I said it.” 

“I said I was  _ surprised _ .” Roxas’s voice was muffled as he continued to insist on burrowing into Axel’s shoulder. “I thought you’d be tougher to break down. Earlier today you freaked out about _cuddling_ and now you want to…” Roxas finally turned his head and craned for slightly cross-eyed eye contact. “Unless you regret it not because of me but because of you, unless  _ you _ need to go slow...or at a normal pace I guess. Normal pace would seem slow when I’ve thought about this for so long. I don’t have the words to say how sure I am, but, hey, I can try to describe how many times I jerked myself off in the shower wishing you were there with me.”

“You can’t just  _ say _ things like that,”Axel threw his words back at him and Roxas got the feeling he was about to win again.

“How about this?” Roxas dropped his voice to an approximation of a seductive purr, spots of color fixing themselves on his face that should have undermined the impression he wanted to make but worked perfectly on Axel,who only saw Roxas caught in his words too. “Sometimes when you stretch your legs out on the table when we are sitting on the couch watching TV I can’t pay attention because you’re just kind of flaunting these long legs I can’t help but think of thrown over my shoulders or wrapped around my waist. Mostly the shoulders. I want to bend you in half.” Axel let out a choked noise Roxas couldn’t quite classify. He took it as a sign of encouragement. “It really is a tragedy I’m not just a bit taller or bulkier. Working out is half about wishing I could lift you up and hold you against a wall.” Roxas knew Isa could hold Axel’s weight easily. He thought about that sometimes, as offputting as the intrusion of Isa into his thoughts in that context was and as nonsensically jealous as it made him. He knew better than to add that part aloud though.

“Also not allowed,  _ so _ not allowed” Axel breathed more than said, then immediately contradicted himself. “Tell me more.” So maybe Roxas had picked up some things on the streets and wasn’t all that innocent at least in thoughts. Live and learn. Learn eagerly and gratefully.

“I am obsessed with your hands,” Roxas confessed offhandedly. 

“These hands?” Axel asked faux innocently as he unclasped his hands and moved them down Roxas’s back to cup his ass instead. 

Instead of saying anything at first, Roxas opted for crashing his lips to Axel’s, kissing him thoroughly. Axel chuckled softly, tilting his head and gently nipping at Roxas’s bottom lip; and the blond grinned, holding the side of his neck. “Shower? Seriously, can we? Before I die.  _ Die _ , Axel.”

Axel returned the grin and gave Roxas’s butt a squeeze. “I don’t knoooow….” He drew out the word into several syllables, this time clearly teasing with his hesitance.

Roxas rolled his eyes, before diving in for another kiss. “You’re an asshole. Why do I love you?” he muttered, and Axel chuckled, before wrapping an arm fully around Roxas’s waist, planting his feet flat on the bed for a second for leverage and flipping them. Roxas’s breath left him in a little puff at the suddenness of his back hitting the mattress. 

“Love you too. _If_ you even love me. You want to bend me in half. That’s called lust, sir.” 

Roxas squirmed. “You could bend me in half instead if you want. I was getting to that fantasy with the comment about the fingers.” He really hadn’t figured out any preference of his except that Axel had to be involved.

“Hands.” 

“...Hands, whatever. You do need to keep calling me, sir, now though. That’s now a thing.”

“Mmm,  _ bossy _ ,” Axel hummed.”Wasn’t joking about that when I said it before our nap. That’s a turn on.” Axel admitted before eschewing conversation once more in favor of making out.

_ In that case… _ Roxas pulled on Axel’s hair much harder than he had earlier until Axel hissed and broke away from him. He made a show of looking authoritative. Axel didn’t have the heart to tell him he looked more like an angry puppy. “Shower. Now.”

“Yes, sir,” Axel sat up and pulled Roxas with him. 

They clambered off the bed, still exchanging warm, open mouthed kisses which made Roxas shiver, and prompted Axel to tighten his grip and lift him off the floor so he could stand straight but not give Roxas up. Roxas wrapped his legs around Axel and twined his arms more tightly around his neck. This worked since he couldn’t have the opposite. It more than just worked. Axel’s hands digging into the backs of his thighs as he held him off the ground joined the favorite things list. They stumbled backward toward the bedroom door, Axel reaching to open the door without dropping Roxas, though for a moment it seemed like they would end up in a bruised tangle on the floor.

Axel stumbled backward with even less grace down the hall and into the bathroom. Axel set Roxas down, but Roxas kept his arms around Axel’s neck, pulling him toward the shower, pressing kisses down the other man’s jaw. Axel grinned, briefly shifting his attention to the shower to slide open the shower door and turn the water on.

Roxas hesitated momentarily when he realized it was time to get naked. 

“Don’t look so worried. You’ll make me worried again,” Axel offered softly, tugging Roxas closer by his hips.

“Die, Axel,  _ die _ ,” Roxas grinned involuntarily, pressing his lips to Axel’s again, tongue slipping into his mouth, tilting his head and unconsciously rolling his hips with intent against the redhead's. There was a gasp and Roxas wasn’t quite sure whether it was his, Axel’s, or both of theirs. Axel’s eyes locked on Roxas’s, and it was like the firing of a starter pistol, Axel pushing Roxas back against the wall to kiss down the side of his neck, tongue and teeth working over his skin. Fingers hooked into his waistband and the pajama pants were pooled at his feet what seemed like a flash later. Roxas’s grip on time was shaky at the moment. He was sure of one thing though, Axel was still wearing pants and he shouldn’t be. Axel’s jeans were a bit of a struggle to unzip and push down though. 

“Why?” Roxas’s impatient lament over how Axel favored pants that were practically painted on (the opposite of a problem most other times) was reduced one word. Axel took over for Roxas’s fumbling fingers, divesting himself of his jeans and boxers. For a suspended beat of a moment after kicking aside the material that was now only tripping hazard, they stared at each other, fully exposed. Roxas noticed, among other things of course, that Axel did in fact flush red; it was just his chest that colored, not his face. He hadn’t noticed that in the bedroom even though he’d been barechested back then too. Axel was definitely blushing now though as he stared with blatantly hungry eyes, blown pupils that Roxas was sure he mirrored. 

“It’s important to me that I tell you that you’re the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Well, that’s unnecessarily sappy.”

“Shut up. I’m a romantic.

Roxas pushed open the shower door and stepped inside, pulling Axel after him. They were reconnected before Axel even closed the shower stall door after them, sloppy where they had kissed with more finesse even in the beginning of getting used to each other, the rock of hips and the overwhelmingly electric skin to skin contact where they slid together throwing off other rhythms. Roxas tipped his head back against the tiles, hot water pelting his face while his breath came in breathy pants that soon gave way to soft moans, tangling his fingers in the hair at the nape of Axel’s neck. He let out a louder groan as Axel bit the junction of his shoulder and his neck, stifling a sound of his own. The taller man skimmed his knuckles over Roxas’s lower back, and then hesitated, fingertips lingering over his tailbone; and Roxas groaned softly, pressing his forehead to Axel’s shoulder. “Fingers.” 

Axel laughed in response, but it was too throaty to come across as mocking.

“Please.” The word almost came out as a whimper, but Roxas was past caring, let alone being embarrassed, and completely forgot he’d even spoken in the first place when Axel pressed a finger into his entrance. He rolled his hips back against Axel’s hand, gasping into his boyfriend’s shoulder, and Axel kissed down the side of his neck softly, working his finger in and out.

“You have to tell me if this hurts or it’s too weird. This wasn’t even the plan,” Axel’s concern came back, as inconvenient in Roxas’s eyes as ever.

“It’s weird,” Roxas admitted, panting, “Second finger.” He had a goal in mind and he could see it flashing a neon promise of dreams fulfilled.

“No,” Axel chided him as best he could with Roxas thrusting back onto his finger and then forward insistently. “Patience.”

“Fuck me.” It was half complaining sigh, half petulant demand.

“You really do want to move at light speed, don’t you?” Axel sounded like he forgot he was the one with his finger in Roxas’s ass. “ You know…”

There was violence in the urgent way Roxas kissed him to shut him up. 

“And don’t you still want me to blow you?” Axel continued his awful, awful trend of talking, except this time he used words Roxas could get behind. 

“Yes. Please. Yes, I want everything.” Roxas let out a soft keen, overwhelmed and indecisive, still thrusting erratically back and forth, trying to create more friction where Axel with his stupid willpower had stopped helping for the most part in that regard, just holding Roxas as they negotiated. Even the finger slipped away and Roxas whined, high-pitched and needy, tilting his head back too far and sputtering when water got in his nose. “Please, Axel. Something.”

Axel kissed his lips softly. “Not today but one day soon.” 

Roxas hoped the statement only applied to fucking him because the running joke of dying seemed like it was about to become a reality. The taller man pulled him forward a step, so he was directly under the spray of the shower, and helped him wash down his chest, reaching to grab soap from the shelf built into the wall. 

“Not. What. I. Meant. Wrong something. Screw getting clean.”

Axel grinned and shifted a hand lower. Roxas moaned brokenly as fingers closed around his dick and Axel stroked him slowly as he came in for another kiss and crowded Roxas back to the wall out of the direct spray of water. Roxas returned the kiss and tried to keep still otherwise, not wanting to break the spell once again. This wasn’t what he had wanted either, and yet still more than he had ever imagined, reality instantly topping dreams even with something as simple as it being Axel’s hand instead of his own lazily jerking him off.

Roxas thumped his head back as Axel shifted down his chest, pressing kisses over his skin, stroking circles into his hipbone with the hand not on his cock, before his hips jerked forward involuntarily when Axel was on his knees, and he let out the first of many loud, echoing throaty cries when Axel replaced his hand with his mouth, hands shifting to pin Roxas’s hips firmly against the tile, and soon pressing hard enough Roxas knew he’d bruise when he couldn’t keep still. Roxas’s hands scraped useless, half aborted patterns against the wall before he had the much better idea to tangle them in Axel’s hair like first instinct should have been. Roxas would be slightly disturbed and more than slightly jealous later thinking how Axel’s complete lack of hesitance, needing only a brief adjustment to relax his throat before he was swallowing Roxas’s whole length down on the third bob, the practiced way he hollowed his cheeks, and the way he seemed to know exactly when to back off almost completely (Roxas would forever deny he let out a literal sob at that point; it was a manly groan) and switch to teasing, twirling licks to prolong things a bit longer and then sucking on only the head while teasing Roxas’s balls with the fingers of the hand not still reminding Roxas not to buck too much--all meant Axel had probably done this before and more than once. 

When Axel swallowed him down again, Roxas came with the loudest shout yet, banging his head against the tile wall hard enough he’d probably be tender there too in a minute when he could process feelings other than bliss again. Axel worked him through it, swallowing every drop-- for show Roxas gathered, catching the involuntary displeased scrunch of Axel’s nose.

Roxas leaned heavily on the tile wall to keep upright, legs turned to jelly, but he wasted no time urging Axel to his feet, demanding, “Kiss me.”

“You won’t like how I taste right now, Angel.” Axel’s voice was completely wrecked, croaking more than Roxas’s had at the height of his laryngitis. Roxas’s softened dick twitched making a valiant effort to express how interesting Roxas found Axel’s hoarseness knowing he was the cause, but not being able to do much.

“Now,” Roxas was more needy than commanding but Axel couldn’t help but comply either way.

Axel was right. His mouth had an odd, salty tang when Roxas licked into it, but Roxas couldn’t exactly complain after having his brains sucked out. He wrapped his arms around Axel’s neck and drew him closer, trying to sink into him, reminded that something was still unfair between them when he felt Axel’s hard length against his hip. Roxas snaked a hand down to wrap around Axel. Roxas stroked toward the head, twisting his wrist halfway. Axel didn’t make any noise but his mouth went slightly slack for a moment, which seemed a good sign.

“You don’t need to…” Axel made a weak protest before being cut off with a kiss.

“I can try to…” Roxas attempted an offer before it was his turn to be cut off.

“Next time. This is enough for now. Probably won’t even be long. You have no idea how all that yelling you were doing was getting to me.”

Roxas set a pace. Axel closed a hand over his and adjusted it, guiding only briefly before letting go. 

“Quick..ah...study as aalways,” Axel teased.

“I really do want to get on my knees for you and taste you,” Roxas’s nonchalant response that changed the subject again, combined with a soft flick of a thumb across the head of Axel’s dick, dragged a groan from redhead.

“Who am I to say no to that?” Axel mused, voice vague and breathless.

“Axel! Roxas! I’m home!” Xion’s voice, upbeat and mood killing, drifted in from the other room. “Sorry it took me so long! I couldn’t get away.”

Roxas cursed under his breath, eyes growing wide and hand stilling.

“Literally die,” Axel stole the abbreviated version of Roxas’s new catchphrase, though Roxas could see in his eyes that he was just as caught off guard and freaked out about Xion’s unexpected-so-soon return, having forgotten as Roxas had that other people existed and one of their favorites actually shared an apartment with them.

“Roxas?” The voice was closer now, meaning Xion was probably in the hall, walking toward Roxas’s bedroom. “Roxas, how are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling a lot better actually.” Roxas started stroking again, and, despite encouraging him not to stop in the first place a minute ago, Axel shot him a death glare. “Just taking a shower. For the steam. It’s helping a lot.”

Axel grabbed the blond’s wrist and shook his head as Xion’s voice came again from what sounded to be right outside the bathroom door now. “Is Axel at the store?”

Roxas raised a brow as if to ask. Axel shrugged a shoulder, lost and mortified. He also made the mistake of letting Roxas’s wrist go, which meant Roxas immediately resumed his efforts to get him off, only succeeding in confusing his body as to what it wanted to do since the conversation Xion continued at the same time. “Uh...Yep, at the store.” Roxas picked up speed and Axel squeezed his eyes shut and bit his tongue.

“Is that right?” Xion’s voice was a little further now. “Because I just remembered seeing his shoes were by the front door when I came in and there are two shirts in your bed. And I just heard a groan.”

That was a blatant lie. Axel knew he hadn’t made any noise. Hadn’t he?

“Nope. I stubbed my toe. Axel’s definitely at the store. You should go to the store and look for him.” Roxas sounded far too pleased with himself as he yelled back.

Axel opened his eyes to glare again but as soon as he locked eyes with Roxas and caught the adoration in the blue eyes that met his, that meant more than the smirk on his face and in his voice. Axel still kind of wanted to murder him, but less.

“Nah, I’m going to make myself a sandwich and sit in the living room. By the front door. The front door Axel should be coming through soon.”

Roxas twisted his wrist on the upstroke. “Sounds like a plan.”

Axel had thought too soon. The urge to murder was on the rise again. There were two targets.

“Come on,” Axel groaned softly enough even he could barely hear it over the falling water. He grabbed Roxas’s arm again. There was no way this was going to work fully knowing Xion was right outside and aware even if he could convince himself she wasn’t listening, which he couldn’t.

Roxas pouted.

Axel turned off the water and opened the shower door to grab a towel off the rack.

“So how long has this store trip been going on? I thought I’d be the first to know when Axel broke down and went to the store.”

“Well, I’m hating this,” Axel declared, full volume, giving up since there really was no way out of the situation, how disgruntled he felt showing through in his voice.

“You are the first to know,” Roxas yelled at the same time.

“I knew it was only a matter of time!” Xion half shrieked, which wasn’t the most mortifying moment of Axel’s life at all.

Axel handed the towel to Roxas and shook his head. “You get dressed and go deal with our best friend’s excitement. I’m going to stay here a minute.”

Roxas frowned but complied, stretching up for a final-for the moment-kiss before toweling off. The frown remained when Axel didn’t help him or tease him and stayed slumped against the shower wall while Roxas stepped out around him.

“Mad?”

“No”

“I send Xion to the store and come back in?”

“No”

“I am going to get you off later though, only fair.”

“Not if you keep talking now.”

“Love you?”

“Love you too.”

Roxas pulled the pajama pants from before back on when he realized there was no other option besides Axel’s jeans, shook his still wet hair like a dog, wrapped the towel around his shoulders to catch the drips, and left.

A shriek much less supportive than Xion’s last carried to the bathroom. “Why are you wearing my llama pants?  _ What did you do in my llama pants _ ?!”

“They are the softest thing any of us own and I was itchy. I'm very sick, Xion.” Roxas protested, forcing a cough.

Xion started wailing about lost llama innocence. Axel tipped his head back and sighed.It was going to be a long night. A smile spread across his face despite himself as the thought persisted that there was something good (days, weeks, months, years of good) to follow it though.


End file.
